365 Days

So today while I was watching T.V. instead of studying like I should be, I saw a new special coming on in January.  The first thought I had was "Why in the world would they be advertising something that isn't till January?" I actually had a moment where I had to think about what month it is.  It all hit me at once.  2010 is less than a month away from being over.  I have no idea why I find this so shocking.  I actually had to catch my breath for a minute and really think about what that means to me.

This year had to be one of the most overwhelming heartbreaking years I have ever gone through.  There were so many defining memories that brought me to where I am at this very moment.  I can't believe this journey in my life is actually over for good.  It started so effortlessly and I just went with it day by day.  Then tragedy after tragedy took place.  Every time I would tell myself that I am stronger and could overcome it.  I kept running back because I didn't want to let go.  There was a fog in front of my eyes, and I didn't want to wash it away.

I remember last year around this time making my new years resolution list.  Corny yes, but it is something I do every year so that I can look back and see if I accomplished anything I originally set out to.  I don't remember exactly what was on my list, but the number one thing I wanted to accomplish I know I did.  Maybe it was foolish to wish for what I did, but I wouldn't take it back.  I just can't believe one whole year has gone by.  I'm not sad to enter the new year alone.  I think I'm finally starting to find myself again.  No distractions, just me myself, and I.  You can't rely on someone else to pick you up off the floor.  What if there is no one around? Then your just a loser stuck on the floor because your not strong enough to gather the courage and stand alone.  Learn to stand for what you believe in you'll not only respect yourself, but gain the respect of others.