At First Sight?

I am sure you have heard the saying a million times.. "Love at first sight".  Your interpretation is extremely different from the person sitting next to you, or your best friend, or even parents for that matter.  What does it really mean? Is there a set definition on what defines love at first sight? I never really had a set belief on love.  Usually, when it came to love, I was all over the place.  The people I usually loved hurt me the most.  They were the "bad boys" in life that attracted me most.  The men that broke the rules, lived on the wild side, and were extremely intoxicating and dangerous.  I was laying in bed last night when I got to thinking about all the different types of men I have dated before.  When talking to girlfriends and what not I have always asked mine if they had a type of man they usually fell for.  Was it the jock type? Singer? Rock and roll artist? Hippie? What kind of men were they attracted to?

Some of the girls would respond that they liked an outdoors man that was really into sports.  Someone who liked to watch Sunday night football and was a family man.  Then again, some of these girls responded that they were attracted to a man with rock hard abs, or even someone of polish descent only.  Culture was sometimes key in the types of men that attracted women.  I always thought that I had a certain type of male that I was attracted too, but what is the fun of dating the same guy over and over again? That is when it hit me:  How are we supposed to learn who is the best for us if we keep dating the same person over and over again? What differenced would there be? Would we have the same fights, arguments, interests? It seemed like we would be repeating the same circles over and over again and what would be the fun in that? It dawned on me then what was needed for me to finally move on with my life.  To date different men of different backgrounds, and interests, and styles of communicating.  If I dated the same type of person in a different body I  would learn nothing new about myself and about what was the best for me.  That would be my one of my new years resolutions I decided.  Yes it would.

One and Done

Well well well,

It has been a while since I have blogged.  Not a whole lot of exciting stuff going on in my world.  Work is taking up a lot of my free time, and if not work then attempting to go out and not live a sheltered life.  There are only a few days left till Christmas! I swear every single man was out shopping last minute for their wives or significant others.  Did they all get together and decide today was the day? I probably had almost all male customers today with the occasional female, after all I was working in the intimates department.

Lately I have been thinking.  After hearing story after story about men and all the jerk things they have done to different women, I have to think to myself why do we put ourselves through it? We believe every word that comes out of their mouths.  They say they love us, they will do anything for us, we are the best thing that ever happened to them.  Then you wake up one day, and it's done.  No explanation, no closure in person, nothing.  They just disappear of the face of the planet.  It is almost as if we made up this whole relationship in the first place.  When did men get so cowardly that they don't have the decency to look you in the eyes and say that it simply isn't working out.  Will we ever meet someone worthy of our trust and love or are we all prone for disaster?

The Show Must Go On

So winter break has officially started! 5 whole weeks away from schoolbooks, classes, projects, papers, tests, the whole shebang.  Although I am ecstatic to not worry about my classes and grades, now I have to be in a low key atmosphere where most of my days will consist of working and spending money on Christmas gifts.  Not that I am opposed to buying gifts for other people it just tends to get a little expensive!

I had a little visitor last night at work.  One of my good friends from high school came down and we had a blast for the last 45 minutes that I was working.  It is nice to know that you could remain friends with someone despite time it is as if nothing ever changed! We walked down the beautifully lit Michigan Avenue! If you are going to be in the city during the winter the best part is getting to enjoy the beautiful lights and winter-esque scenery

Tonight were going to take some dance classes downtown.  Dancing has been a part of my life since I was old enough to walk pretty much.  It is has been permanently marked on me for as long as I'll live now.  Everyone has their certain hobbies whether it be video games, horseback riding, singing, there are so many.  When you are doing what you love to do most in the world you feel so alive and the most like yourself.  That is what dancing is to me.  The one place I can 100 percent be myself and feel the best.  I haven't danced since maybe February?  This will be a pleasant reawakening.  Sometimes the winter can get you down, and when your down, all you have to do is dance.

What They Say Is True: Timing Is Everything!

When your in the city do you ever notice all the taxi's driving around aimlessly with their light on at the top? That light means everything because if you're looking to score a ride in the cab, your chances all rely on that tiny little light that says In Service Or Not In Service.  If you think about it, the whole dating game is very similar to taxi's. If a guy or girl is ready to start dating someone their light goes on.  If they just got out of a relationship, their light is out of service.  They need the downtime to themselves to re cooperate from the scarring relationship they just got out of.  You can meet someone and get along with them really well but if one of those lights are off, you just lost all chances.

Then again, some peoples lights never go off.  They bounce from one relationship, to the next, and so on.  These are the kind of people that love being in a relationship, all the time.  Sometimes I have to wonder, do these people ever have any kind of emotional attachment to these relationships? Is there any kind of connection, or do they just get bored with being with one person for so long they just say "next".  

365 Days

So today while I was watching T.V. instead of studying like I should be, I saw a new special coming on in January.  The first thought I had was "Why in the world would they be advertising something that isn't till January?" I actually had a moment where I had to think about what month it is.  It all hit me at once.  2010 is less than a month away from being over.  I have no idea why I find this so shocking.  I actually had to catch my breath for a minute and really think about what that means to me.

This year had to be one of the most overwhelming heartbreaking years I have ever gone through.  There were so many defining memories that brought me to where I am at this very moment.  I can't believe this journey in my life is actually over for good.  It started so effortlessly and I just went with it day by day.  Then tragedy after tragedy took place.  Every time I would tell myself that I am stronger and could overcome it.  I kept running back because I didn't want to let go.  There was a fog in front of my eyes, and I didn't want to wash it away.

I remember last year around this time making my new years resolution list.  Corny yes, but it is something I do every year so that I can look back and see if I accomplished anything I originally set out to.  I don't remember exactly what was on my list, but the number one thing I wanted to accomplish I know I did.  Maybe it was foolish to wish for what I did, but I wouldn't take it back.  I just can't believe one whole year has gone by.  I'm not sad to enter the new year alone.  I think I'm finally starting to find myself again.  No distractions, just me myself, and I.  You can't rely on someone else to pick you up off the floor.  What if there is no one around? Then your just a loser stuck on the floor because your not strong enough to gather the courage and stand alone.  Learn to stand for what you believe in you'll not only respect yourself, but gain the respect of others.

Let's Get Loko In Here!!

This is dedicated to my friends that came out to visit me during the first snow of the season.  I was told that if I got an ad about Four Lokos everyone would be reading my blog.  I'll keep that in mind Alec and Dustin! :)

I had a really great night with great people.  The type of people that just want to have a good time and build good memories with good people.  It is rare to find these people.  The kind of people that do things out of the kindness of their heart, not expecting anything in return.  Where you could be your complete nerdy self and instead of laughing at you, they laugh with you.  I'm so glad to have people like that in my life.  I know I can and always will count on you and for that I say thank you.

Then there are the friendships that no matter how many years go by they will always be right next to you in the end.  Months could pass where you haven't spoken and in one phone call they would be there for you no matter what the circumstance.  I'm glad I can say I still have those friends too.  Time may pass, but the bond will stay no matter what happens.

So apparently instead of four weeks off, we have five weeks off.  Five lovely long weeks at home.  Looks like it's gonna be a long winter.  At least there are some great people to spend time with at home too :)

Going to try my first Four Loko tonight.  Wish me luck.

Let's Make Some Money, Make Some Music

It is official:  I have been at the library for 4 slow and painful hours.  This might be a record for me.  Longest time spent at the library in four years of college.  I am the model student.  Of course, I have been in and out of facebook the entire time as well.

Today was the first official snowfall of the year.  It is so peaceful to me to look at the snow.  I could spend a lot of time absorbed with window watching during this time of the year.  Luckily, I don't have that time right now with finals coming up.

For some reason I have been so spacey this week, and having a lot of trouble concentrating on school.  It could partially be because next week is finals and then its home for a month! A month filled with commutes back and forth into the city for work.  At least I have the view to enjoy of the lights on Michigan Avenue.  Just about the only thing that makes me smile when I go into the city these days..

That and of course hanging out with my lovely friends, or rather soul mates.  It is only when you don't get to spend everyday with friends that you really begin to cherish the friendships you have built with certain people.  When we all get together now, it brightens up my day and I can't stop laughing or smiling.  I can be myself completely and reminisce and build new memories with these loved ones.

It is nice to have those friends that can brighten up your day and make you forget that you just had a mental breakdown about absolutely nothing.  Ah, the perks of being a woman.

The only concern other than finals I have these days are my new years plans.  At this moment I have three potential dresses.  One absolute drop dead gorgeous one, as long as I have somewhere to wear it too, and two backup dresses, just in case.  While making plans, I was teased a little bit about not having a date.  Now keep in mind, I am 21 years old and recently out of a relationship.  Why is it that I am expected to have a date? Have we suddenly entered the out of college dating realm where we go on endless dates, Sex and The City Style until we find "the one"? I was unaware of this sudden shift.  It doesn't make me feel vulnerable or sad that I don't have a date though because why should I be attached to someone all night on New Years Eve at a huge party when I could be dancing and having the time of my life without the attachment to my hip? That is exactly what I plan on doing.  Having the time of my life, and I owe it all to me.