We Will Fight

It is finally Thanksgiving! I feel like November happens to be one of the slowest months of the year.  So much anticipation is built up for the holidays, Thanksgiving especially.  Every family makes a big deal about getting the best turkey, and having a huge feast.  Thanksgiving at my house might be the exact opposite of what the standards of a typical Thanksgiving are.  Coming from a tiny family there are about five people that actually gather at my house on this festive day.  Can you say celebration?

I do admit though that it is nice to be home for the holidays and see familiar faces around town.  Theres the neighborhood bars, where everyone flocks to, especially on that one holiday we like to call blackout Wednesday.

I can't even begin to tell you how many people I saw last night out and about.  It was like eight years of life wrapped up into one glorious night.  I do always enjoy chatting with people that impacted my life in some way, which brings me to my next story.

There was once this girl, and like most girls she thought she was the one to have changed a certain boy.  It could have been because he convinced and told her that she was different than the other girls he had dated previously.  I mean who wouldn't want to hear that right? Well she believed him when he said these powerful things to her.  One day she found out that he was wearing a mask.  His entire identity was a mask, with more than a past, but a present and another girlfriend.  When she found these cobwebs from the other girlfriend herself she thought I will never make that mistake again.  She thought fondly of this poor girlfriend who had no idea what was going on in her own boyfriend/ex-boyfriends life.  Long story short the girlfriend cut the ties and moved forward with her life.  Unfortunately, the girl, lets call her Annie.  Annie believed that she made a difference in this mans life.  Annie thought, "I'll never be like that other girl, because I'm different."  Months down the road Annie finally saw the light to the other end of the tunnel.  Now, she happens to run into the old girlfriend one day.  She decides to go up to her and speak to her.  Mainly she wanted her to know that she was right the entire time.  It wasn't that Annie was different, it was that this guy was exactly the same, to every girl.  He manipulated and lied his way into these girls hearts, and they all fell for it.

Instead of being against each other, these girls should have been on the same team.  This guy and many others alike will continue to manipulate other girls because they have that power.  How do we stop it?

Slow Movement

It is officially a new week, which means I can allow myself a new post!  Although the week was uneventful, the weekend turned out to be exactly the opposite.  Success.  I have survived yet another weekend and gained some insight as well.  When you are a single college student your weekends consist of sleeping till one, watching movies all day, eating, and then getting ready to hit the bar scene.  If you have a successful night it usually means you can't remember most of it, and it involved a heavy flow of liquid courage. If you happened to be one of the few in a relationship, you usually spend all your free time with a significant other soaking up the little time you have to be together.  It always goes like this: When you are seeing someone, suddenly all the free time you had is consumed, but not only by another person.  Work becomes excessive, and even school assignments and tests start to build up.  Of course you can't forget seeing your family and friends, so you pretty much are on a constant track never stopping for a second.

Now your the single college student.  You have been on the go for as long as you can remember, never stopping to take a breath and now all you can find yourself doing is absolutely nothing.  Work goes by dreadfully slow and the assignments you were once swimming in have all at once disappeared.  Why is it that when we don't want to have endless amounts of free time, we have it and vice versa?  We can never have it the way we want it, no matter what the situation is.  If I want the red bag, they only have the black, or I have a wedding to attend and the only weekend I am scheduled to work is that weekend?

Life throws barriers in our way to see how strong we are to overcome them.  When we have loads of free time on our hands all we can do is sit and think.  We reminisce on our lives, the good times, but usually the bad because we dwell on what went wrong, and then we try to replay the situations in our head if we could have done it differently.   How do we overcome our own barriers?

The Bitch Is Back

I originally had intended on trying to write once a week so I have some sort of consistency, but I am just so full of ideas and potential stories that I can't help but post!

I just had the pleasure of reading one of the most empowering self motivation books out there.  It taught me that when you have a voice, you shouldn't try to hold back because of how other people are going to judge and perceive you because of it.  This got me to thinking; Do we try to change our identity and who we are because of other people in our life? Do we see our questionable "traits" such as stubbornness, drama queen, immatureness, and try to mold ourselves into someone we aren't for someone else?

I would say yes.  A majority of us as human beings are constantly being told how we should act, who we should be seen with, what we should be studying in school, and pretty much how we should live our lives.  We mold into a certain niche and some of us never stray too far away.  In fact, a majority of people from high school stay in the same town, hang out with the same people, and do the same thing everyday in fear of acting out against what we call "the norm."

I recently discovered that I fell into this category that I never in a million years imagined I would.  I found a new niche where I was comfortable.   Where I knew everything about where I was going to eat, movies I would be watching, or even what conversations would take place on a daily basis.  Do you want to know the crazy part? It was convenient, and it sure felt good.  Then I realized, that this so called "niche" I was in, wasn't who I was at all.  This niche made me want to be someone I wasn't.  I wasn't allowed to act out against what I believed, or even act like my total self, which if I was to ask like my true self, there would be more drama than just a couple of fights every so often.  Was I voted the drama queen in high school? Your damn right I was.  I have been dramatic ever since I was little, a trait that has been with me my whole life.  This is what I leave you with;  Learn for your own self righteousness your traits, good or bad, because if someone or something doesn't like you at your worst, they certainly don't deserve you at your best.

Satellite Heart

This is the beginning.  The beginning to freedom, to laughter, criticism, hatred, lust, to a new life dedicated to me.  I am finally getting rid of the only drug I have ever known to have tried, or been addicted to; Love.  Sometimes the love you feel for someone doesn't bring out the best in you.  It only brings out the person you never thought you were but have turned into because someone held that power over you.  They didn't try to turn you into this power consuming have to know everything kind of person, thats just it.  It happened.  How do you overcome this kind of addiction? This is the answer I have been waiting a while to find out myself.  When a person is addicted to any sort of drug, whether it be a narcotic, plant, person, or even career, that brings out the worst in them, is there a way to ween yourself off the drug? Do you just go cold turkey and cut yourself off from seeing that person, or do you slowly fade away until you can stand on your own feet without feeling like your going to fall over? How do you overcome that obsession?